It's nearly a new year. Nearly 2011.
And when I think back on what I've done and achieved this year I think of nothing, when I think of the future it scared me, although I complain about being so young I enjoy my youth and I hate that time is moving so quickly, memories are fading and people are leaving. Youth manufactures adulthood but I don't think I'm ready to become an adult, we claim youth is the greatest period of time and we create our being through it with so called individuality and indangering our precious lives for fun, to be a youth and to say we tried it! we were young and foolish once and we enjoyed every second of it. But, I don't think I have achieved this yet.. I have nothing to tell the next generation of what makes me, me.


its not so worth getting all bent out of shape about
i turned my back on it and night's hear now its all grown out
do you wanna step outside
or do you want me to ride?
i dont know just what i feel
but i feel it all tonight

i give it all in these hours that we set aside
i know i'm feeling brave
but that's because my heart's untied
dont want a chain
we got our love to spare
cause we're awake through our youth.

Have you ever thought about the amount of times you've cried and no one has ever known but you, the amount of times you've smiled because of someone and they never knew it was because of them! The amount of times you've laughed alone, the amount of times you've wanted to express something but never have. That is a lot of emotions you haven't shared, a lot of things someone could have shared with you, a lot you've gone through.. alone.

Winter

Although I always say I am fearful of falling in love and getting my heart broken I always miss the simple things that come with a relationship, I always think of what's going to happen at the end of each relationship before it has barely started and I think that's what ruins it, I get too scared and I mess things up. Winter is such a lonely season, it is so cold and boring! You need someone to sit in with and drink tea and watch crappy day time television and your favourite films over and over again, although I enjoy getting into bed and watching a film while I'm so warm yet it is so cold outside, you feel so smug like you've beaten the cold, but this is always better with someone else, it seems so sad that I can't enjoy myself alone, although I love switching off the world, I also like turning things off with someone else and it's always nice to have someone to talk to about anything. I have to admit I do miss everything that isn't materialistic these days or Facebook orientated! I mean it's so sad how our lives revolve around this thing we open on our Internet browsers, we rely so much on Facebook that without it most people would be lost, they wouldn't even think to use their home phones to arrange to meet.

COLLEGE

So, I had my reviews for college and they're pretty bad! At this rate I wont be able to get into Uni let alone afford it. English Language I'm predicted a D which is really depressing, I really don't want to fail that at least...so a lot of revision is going to be done, apparently to get an A I need to take up another language :| Also I have nothing done for my portfolio for Uni or anything, my attendance is so bad and my lates are getting beyond ridiculous. I really don't want to fail college, but everyone keeps telling me I'm going to it's really quite off putting.
I should start revising soon, like every night working really hard revision so I can pass my exams in January. My coursework for Media and Film are going quite well but there is so much work to do and I've missed so many lessons! I also have loads of work/essays and revision to do for all my other lessons which I haven't been given any sheets or books to help with.

You were my best friend but then you died, i was 23 and you were 25

We hate getting on the bus when it's packed with students

We love frappichinos and long journeys to nowhere

We love Russel Howard and Ash Stynment and pigeons called Martin and Sheila

We love making fools of ourselves

We love topshop and topshop sales

We like drinking tea and watching crap movies

I hate it when you buy me things although i appreciate it

I love your freckles although you hate them

I hate that i live of you and your good will

I love the hours we spend in KFC and Ronald's

I love drinking vanilla milk with you and getting take aways

I hate it when we have little fights and you slam the door

I like being kicked out of tutor with you

I like showering at yours and sleeping in your bed

We like trains and peace and Los campesinos

We hate people who think they know you

We hate liars

I like that I'm slightly frightened of your dad

I like getting free food from your work and staying up late and being late to college

We like hairspray and eyeliner and buying pastries and mayo chickens burgers for 99p

I love being your best friend, I said I'd be there forever because I love you ♥

One eyed redhead

he took me to the river, where he slowly let me drown

So, although everyone was crying about how crap Paranormal Activity 2 was we still felt the need to go see it! and I must admit it was extremely boring, you could easily call it a comedy and even then it wasn't that funny. Then again the night was still pretty fun, we went to the cinema a little too late and the tickets had sold out so we had to wait around for a couple of hours for the next one, in the effort to try and keep ourselves busy we all went back to wills, nothing that exciting happened! Will put on Harry Potter while I tried to watch it while everyone in the background were screaming...oh how i love Harry Potter. We got a few snaps which surprisingly yet not so surprisingly looked like we were drunk trying to be extremely cool.
So we went back to the cinema, Emily and I getting hyped for the laughter and Will, Cam and Mima absolutely shit scared although Cam tried to hide it, throughout the film he was practically holding Mimas hand while me and Emily sat on the other side crying with laughter and thinking up scenario's that would have been much more thrilling.
But, I haven't been feeling very well this week! although I felt fine during the film by the time we got back to Mimas and hopped into bed I felt ill again. Woke up the next day still feeling sick and just laid on Mimas bedroom floor most of the day and taking as many drugs as i could. I got the train home about half 4 and by the time I got home I was feeling a little better until I ate something and then it kicked in again so I went to sleep. It is so inconvenient that I get ill on the only days I have free in which I decided to spend them doing my piles of homework and much needed revision.
SOOOO hopefully I'm feeling better by this weekend! Halloween is coming and I am getting so exciting for a night out finally, we're intending to dress up and huge sluts and gets extremely drunk and then just bump into a few people, should be fun. But what to dress as? I was thinking something simple like a cat, we will see.

blogging

I've been told I'm lacking on the blogging front therefore I think some blogging is in need.

This week has been long and stressful, so much work so little time and too many things to do! This weekend has been completely empty and boring, all I've had is xfactor to keep me entertained! I woke up today and literally did nothing with my time..brought some trousers off eBay thinking they were 24" waist, instead they were size 24, they were a little too big! but thankfully they said I can return them. Also I sorted out my CV, should go give them out really because I seriously need a job before I become so poor that I won't have a social life.

Boys: things that break your heart in two, and you can never really repair the damage they did to you.

people who enjoy telling one girl they like them, then flirting around with other girls
not to mention acting like jerks when around their friends

individuals who think with everything else but their brains
you love them and you hate them
when you love them, you love them so much and mean it
when you hate them, you just want to rip their heads off

an annoyingly frustrating creature, put on earth to drive girls out of their minds. They often tend to make no sense at all and contradict themselves; in both their words and actions.

I HATE BOYS!

London.

So college is amusing. Lots of work and no time for a social life. I enjoy my classes but I know that i have to work so hard and revise all the time to get the grade I want/need but it will be worth it.
I love writing as I've probably said before so Journalism is the job i want to persue, I've been thinking about getting experience but i need connections and also i need this experience to get into Uni, so I have to push to get as much experience and write as much as i can so my portfolio for Uni is perfect. I know Uni is so far away but the sooner i start the more I will achieve and the more I achieve the more likely it will be that I get into the Univerisity I want.

So hence the title i started looking up Universities, I wanted to go to one in London as there would be the best oppitunities but i found the most perfect place in Farnham and actually it isn't too far away from London. It is the most perfect course for me, and now I'm actually get quite excited adn its years away.

JOURNALISM.
http://www.ucreative.ac.uk/ba-journalism

LOS CAMP

I grabbed hold of her wrist and my hand closed from tip to tip
I said “you’ve taken the diet too far
you have got to let it slip”
But she’s not eating again
she’s not eating again
she’s not eating again
she’s not eating again.
I ask her to speak French and then I need her to translate
I get the feeling she makes the meaning more significant.
She was always far too pretty for me to believe in a single word she said
believe a word she said.
At fourteen her mother died in a routine operation
from allergic reaction to a general anesthetic.
She spent the rest of her teens experimenting with prescriptions
in a futile attempt to know more than the doctors.
She said one day to leave her
sand up to her shoulders waiting for the tide
to drag her to the ocean
to another sea’s shore.
This thing hurts like hell
but what did you expect?

And all you can hear is the sound of your own heart
And all you can feel is your lungs flood and the blood course
But oh I can see five hundred years dead set ahead of me
Five hundred behind
A thousand years in perfect symmetry

Best known left wrist right finger
through all the Southern States
on every video games machine they call her triple A.
There were racists on the radio trying to give up smoking
the chat show host
he joked “you have to wait for the government program”.
You talk about your politics
and I wonder if you could be one of them
but you could never kiss a Tory boy without wanting to cut off your tongue again.
A good place to look to the future is when you are sat at the sea
with the salt up to your ankles and a view of the end of the pier
you may look down at your model’s feet and wish that you’d just float away
and the weather here is overcast and the sea is the same shade of grey
so the landscape before you looks just like the edge of the world
but to the left side and the right side
either way is a crazy golf course.
The sea is a good place to think of the future.

And all you can hear is the sound of your own heart
And all you can feel is your lungs flood and the blood course
But oh I can see five hundred years dead set ahead of me
Five hundred behind
A thousand years in perfect symmetry
A thousand years no getting rid of me
A thousand years in perfect symmetry.

♥

This song has so many memories, it makes me cry and makes me happy! it's just unlucky that is came with such good and such bad memories becuase it has to be my favourite lc song, probably because it comes with alot of history, i do regret the choices i've made which gave this song its bad memories but when i think of the good it does make it worth it

. Gotta love Los Campesinos! haters gonna hate.

im leaving my body to science

YOU AND I  WE ARE NOTHING ALIKE. ♥

mmm los campesinos need to bring out a new album! and go on tour

we found a castle...

I LOVE CASTLES

hair hair hair

My hair is getting quite long now, I'm still not sure what to do with it. I want it more red, but ginger! when I have the dollar I'm thinking I'll bleach it then put red on and hopefully it will fade into the colour I want. I like change, I hate always doing the same thing or looking the same or having my room round the same way all the time, so I believe it's time for a change.

I WISH I WAS A FARMER.

It is just you, everythings not shit.

This is a good book. Read it.

The little things in life that make us smile.

• Baths
• Black and white movies
• Berry picking
• Bookshop browsing
• Bubble wrap
• Clouds
• Cream teas
• Crumpets
• Danish pastries
• The radio
• Dunking Biscuits
• Drawing pictures in steamed up windows
• Discovering water
• Ebay
• Falling in love
• Fireworks
• Finding something you thought you'd lost
• First page of a new book
• First snow of winter
• Free hugs
• Good hair days
• Hammocks
• Hourglasses
• Ice pops
• Inspirational moves: Schindler's List (1993) To kill a mockingbird (1962) Miracle on 34th Street (1947) Saving Private Ryan (1998)
• Internet
• The Isle Of Wight
• Last page of a long book
• Lego
• Letter writing
• Licking the bowl
• Lie-ins
• London underground map
• Loud music in a empty house
• Moments before waking
• Tea
• Northern lights
• Play-Doh
• Pyramid tea bags
• A quarter of old fashioned sweets
• Quiet carriages
• Rainbows
• Reading in bed
• Reading in the bath
• Smiles
• Sunday lunch
• Sunday morning walks
• Sunrises
• Sunsets
• Tree houses

"I have a friend with whom i like to spend any time i can find with, I like sleeping in your bed, I like knowing what is going on inside your head, I like taking time and I like your mind and I like when your hand is in mine. I like getting drunk on the tunes by the Beach, I like picking strawberries, I like cream teas and I like reading ghost stories".

Bestfriends

HOW I LOVE URBAN DICTIONARY.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=best%20friend



Lets pretend we're young and have a tea party

John Francis Bongiovi

I wish I went to reading this year.

Things will only make sense if you make sense of them.

Libaries are one of my favourite places, you can just sit on your own and read.. about anything! it's funny how a library holds so much knowledge, held in books which we read. I love that.

I love sleeping. In dreams reality disapears and everything seems so sureal, because it is! I wish I could dream forever but you always wake up.